Top 5 Incorrect Theory’s on the Source of My Wisdom

Special shout out to Wonder Ruby for including me on her wonder blog, The Many Adventures of Wonder Ruby. Click Here

I would also like to thank all of Ruby’s friends who stopped by. Thank you for all the kind words. You like me; you really like me (sorry, I had to go Sally Field on you)

While I will make every attempt to respond to the numerous questions, there was one re-occurring theme that I would like to respond too, “Russell, how did you get so wise?” This, my friend, is a secret. David Blaine did not tell anyone how he stayed in a block of ice for 2 days 13 hours, 42 minutes, and 15 seconds. Rubik never unlocked the secrets of his cube. And Keanu Reeves never shared the process of how he creates such deep characters in his moves. You do not get much deeper then when Bill and Ted had to choose which pill to take, the red or the blue….

What I will do is share with you the Top 5 Incorrect Theory’s on the source of my wisdom. These theory's were sent in from the peanut gallery. Once again for the slow folks these are incorrect theory's, ones that are NOT true.

5. On a school trip I was bit by a spider. The following day I received strange powers which enabled me to think like Buddha. By day watch dog by night I inform.

4. While doing my post grad at Yale, I was invited to join a secret club. I accepted because it was called Skull and Bones. Once I saw that GWB was a member and the there where no bones to be found, I quit. Talk about bait and switch. I did however absorb the knowledge making me connected and dangerous.

3. At birth I was kid-napped by Tom Cruise and converted to Scientology…

2. Born on a distant planet that was on the brink of exploding, my parent placed me in a rocket bound for earth. I was found and raised by humans. This why I am smarter then a speeding poodle and more powerful then a loco puggle.

1. Orphaned, I was raised in a Shaolin monastery, and was trained by the monks to be a Shaolin master. When my mentor is murdered, I retaliated by killing the emperor's nephew, forcing me to flee China and escape execution. This was not before I snatch the snaugage from my master's paw.