Friday, September 28, 2007

iPod Touch Review

iLove My iPod iTouch.

I have now had my new iPod Touch for 12 hours and I am overjoyed. It is the bestest iPod to date.

Russell's cool tools Rating system;
1 snack = no good
5 snacks = mostest bestest

Wow factor: 5
The interface is sick. Not in a "I need to go outside and eat grass", but in a "damn! this is hot!" The attention to detail is pawsome.

Usability: 4.5
As always, Apple is the standard in ease of use. Even a cat could navigate around. I did deduct .5 snacks for the small touch interface for entering text. My paws are not huge but i found myself miss keying...

Features: 3
This is a conditional 3. There is a scaled down set of feature verses the iPhone. For example, you can not edit calendar entries. Why would you pull features as basic as this? The core hardware and software are the same as the iPhone, they just choose to limit some functions. I assume that this is a business decision because of product placement verse the iPhone and its contacts with AT&T. If Apple opens the tools up, the iPod Touch would get an 11 out of 5 from me.

On another note, the wifi web browsing is crazy cool. enough said.

Got to go, my iPod Touch is calling me.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Shar Pei Fun Facts - Part 1

Shar-Pei when translated means "sand-skin" or "shark skin."

Shar-Pei is believed to have a common origin with the Chow-Chow because of the blue-black mouths and tongues

It was believed in ancient times that the dark mouth, exposed when barking, helped to ward off evil spirits

The coat when stroked against the grain may be abrasive, producing a burning, itching sensation

Shar Pei's where also called Chinese Fighting Dogs. But in China any dog that protects property is called a fighting dog

More to follow...

PS I am Fun and that is a fact.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

iPosting iPei iChihuahua

In honor of Apples new iPod release next week, I created the iPei and iChiuahua Ad campaign. Come the 28th of September, baring any back orders and/or natural disasters, I shall be sporting a new iPod Touch! Long Live Apple : )

I added the Chihuahua in because I like the way it rolls off the tongue... iChihuahua. It sounds so sassy... iChihuahua. Go ahead you try. iChihuahuaaaaaaa

This is a special last minute addition to all the Bostons... This is for Ruby and Joe and ...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Russel, Patron Saint of Hockey

"Hey Russ, you like sports?" -Sidney from Steeltown

Baseball helps me sleep.
Basketball gets me running.
Football gets me pumped up.
But Hockey is the shiz-nic!

I love HOCKEY.

I am the self proclaimed Patron Saint of Hockey. My goal is to renew the passion for hockey of those who once watched the game and to lure those who have never seen the game to give it a try. There is nothing like it; Baseball and criket, Football and Rugby, Hockey and ...

And yes Shar Pei's can skate. I wear two pairs of Graf 503s.

With hockey season inching closer you may notice my posting fequency go down ah.

See you in the penaty box... Russ

Sleep dwell upon thine eyes

The average dog sleeps 14 hours a day. But I am not your average dog. I like to say, "keep four paws on the floor and always be ready to snore." and as Billy Shakespeare said, "Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast." Romeo and Juliet, II.ii.186
Didn't know I could go all intellectual did you?

For you who are awake to read this, it may be time for a nap....zzzzzz

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Two Hot Foxes in My Yard

Shame on all of you who read the title of this posting and expected to see two hot puppies. This is a tail of caution. Sure the allure of sexy foxes is tempting but as in many things you should not be taken by appearances. There is more to a canine then a pretty coat and a bushy tail. And yes us dudes love a brushy tail, it is the equivalent of a big j.lo butt in the pup world.

The lesson here is to look below the surface to the puppy inside. It is only normal to be attracted to the bling but real substance is below the surface. Long lasting relationships are forged from inner beauty. You should fight the urge for instant gratification and the elements of danger.

Also my mom would not let me off the deck to go play with them.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Watchdog On-The-Job Action Photos

As requested here are some on-the-job action photos of me hard at work.

Here is me scanning the front yard. Notice my form, serious as a heart attack.

This is my second post, the family room. In this picture I am in a code orange alert. Code orange is when I see the mailman.

This is me on dawn patrol. The sun is setting and while most of you are settling down, my job is only just beginning.

In this photo I am well into my night shift. At times it gets boring so I like to break out the toys and party like a rock start while the humans are sleeping safe in their beds.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Watchdog Training

"Russ, how do you train as a watchdog?"

Three word - Air, Sea, and Land. Like the armed services; Airforce, Navy, and Army, I prepare for intruders from all angles. Please see below.

This is Daffy my training fowl. "Break the wrist, walk away..."

This is Squidwart my sea creature. I grappling Gracie Jujitsu style on his butt.

This is Ratso my land based training dumby. I am waiting for Ratso to Tapout.

Back to School - Separation Anxiety

"Russ, My small humans have gone back to school and I am feeling a little down. They usual just irritate me but I kind of miss them."

Sounds like you have Separation Anxiety. Here is a quick test to see if you got it;

- Are you barking continuously during the day, perhaps after a build-up of whining?
- Do you get stressed when it looks like they are going to leave?
- Are you chewing everything you can get your paws on?
- When they return do you find yourself bouncing off the walls with joy?

Thing you can do;

- Demand more together time. Perhaps long walks or playtime.
- Ask for something to keep you busy when they're gone. Maybe a Kong filled with peanut butter.
- Request to be brought to a friends or daycare.
- Try not to focus on them leaving...

I hope this helped. I personally fixed my anxiety by blogging....

Brokehearts and Matters of the Heart

I hesitated to answer this next posting as it deals with matters of the heart. I have also chosen to summarize the question and disguise the names to protect the privacy of the involved individuals. I will encode the names using a secret variation of the Latin swine encryption method.

Question Summery: My name in Ugsy-Bay. I have shared my affections with a cute pup named Uby-Ray. Uby-Ray never returned my feeling and now I am brokenhearted.

Dear brokenhearted Ugsy-Bay, I am a dude. I could tell you how to rebuild a carb but rebuilding a heart is not quiet the same. I will differ to the experts for some wisdom.

"Is there a cure for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken arms and legs." - Miss Piggy

"And they called it puppy love
Oh, I guess they'll never know
How a young heart really feels
And why I love her so" - Paul Anka

Okay, now here is the tough love part. You are an east coaster and she is a west coaster, long distance relationship never work out. There are plenty of pup in the park....

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

NintenDogs Opportunity

"Dear Russell, I often play NintenDogs on the the Nintendo DS. Why are there no Shar Pei's in video games? You guys look pretty cool. What do you think?"

Excellent Point! Why Are there no Shar Pei's in video games?

Open Letter to Nintendo,

The people have spoken. Give us a NintenDogs version with a Shar Pei breed option. Here are my reasons;

1. Shar Pei puppies are one of, if not the, cutest puppies on the planet.
2. Shar Pei puppies are a perfect breed for inclusion as we are playful and fun.
3. Shar Pei puppies are excellent role models for all puppies.
4. Nintendo can be first to market with a Shar Pei based game.
5. See reason 1.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Greenie Addiction

"Russell, I am in love with Greenies. I want them all the time. I think I have a problem. Can you help?"

The first step is to admit that you have an issue. It is not that bad. The key is moderation. First, you are going to need a sponsor or a buddy that you can call when ever the urge for a Greenie is taking. Talk it over with him or her. Next, try to substitute your urge for a Greenie with something else. Bad substitutes are other snacks that can make you blow up like Garfield. Good substitutes are bugging your human or video games, try World Of Warcraft.

P.S. write back to me when you need help weening yourself off of World Of Warcraft.